Dealing with advanced staged cancer can be challenging enough, but even more so without a good support system. While I did not have my immediate family around me when I was in hospice, God provided not only close friends, but extended family, and people whom I had never met before to help me, which I believe were integral to my recovery.
This included people who not only prepared all my green vegetable juices and food, but also helped me to develop in my spiritual faith through trusting in God and the process, and all the different methods of natural detoxification. There was no way that I could have done this alone as not only did my energy dwindle, but I became bedridden when both lungs collapsed and filled with fluid, where I developed a rapid onset of edema, or fluid retention.
From the medical missionary to my extended family, close friends, and people whom I had never met before, people reached out to me from all over the world. I know it was through this incredible network of support that made all the difference for me and my ability to recover. Having a strong support system can help to minimize stress, give emotional support, and provide spiritual strength when you are facing tough health challenges.
In particular, having a support system can:
Lower stress.
When you’re dealing with a health challenge, you’ve got a lot on your mind and there’s a lot that needs to be done. When it comes to cancer, thoughts of survival often become the focus of most of your attention, on a conscious, as well as subconscious level. There are decisions that need to be made about the journey you will take to begin the healing process.
I’ve worked with clients who endured difficult treatments for cancer, where they’ve decided that they no longer wanted to do conventional treatment because the side effects were too challenging to deal with. However, their family members continued to push for these treatments, often out of a fear of losing them. Others I’ve worked with had a lack of family support where their families did not seem to appreciate or understand the severe emotional, physical, and spiritual challenges that one can face when struggling with advanced stage cancer. In order to have maximal healing opportunity, it’s critically important to have a loving and supportive environment.
In my own experience, the people who surrounded me, proactively took and screened all my calls, spoke to my friends, and put everyone on group text messaging so that those concerned about my status would be notified as the situation evolved.
Then, whenever there were doctors visiting, my caregivers would diligently write down all the notes, to include the doctor’s names, and any potential questions that we might have. This is especially important if you’re too incapacitated or unable to think clearly for yourself. Having your immediate support and caregivers there to advocate for you can ensure that the care you’re given from your medical team is in line with your desires.
The more immediate support that you can have for your care, and things that may need to be done in your surrounding environment, the better. This can be simple chores, like keeping the area clean, having fresh water or green juices, or taking notes when the doctors visit, compiling questions that need to be asked. The less of these tasks that you have to worry about, the more you can really focus your effort and intention on healing.
Provide emotional support.
As you continue to walk the path of your healing journey, you will experience times when some of your emotions may become overwhelming. You may feel sad, angry, worried, or frustrated. It’s in these times that you may need someone to talk to who can listen and empathize. Those in your support network can be there to provide unconditional love where they may not necessarily have to say anything or even do anything; just their mere presence and support is enough to make a difference.
One thing that is very important, once you’ve decided on the method of treatment or palliative care, depending on your condition, is to know that you have the full support of those who are your immediate caregivers and support network. This is critically important because if they do not believe that you’re making the right decision, even if they do not voice it, energetically, it will have an impact on you that it could potentially affect your outcome. As we are all vibrational and energetic beings, negativity has its own energy that can affect the way you think or feel.
Have you ever noticed that there are certain people that you have encountered who often seem to have a negative outlook on life? If you’ve ever spent time with them, you may have likely noticed that your own energy level starts to decline when you’re around them. You may have also observed that your mood or outlook begins to dampen.
Optimistic people, on the other hand, tend to lift your mood and your spirits. When you are with people who have a positive outlook, that actually improves your own ability to better focus on what’s going right, instead of what’s wrong. This shift in perspective can make all the difference along your healing journey by helping you to move from despair to hope.
Provide spiritual strength.
Receiving a grim diagnosis from your doctor doesn’t have to be the final chapter of your life. It can be a wakeup call and the stimulus you need to change the things in your life that may have led you to live a less optimized life. Whatever decisions you make for your treatment, the most important thing is to wholeheartedly believe in your decision, and to have people around you who support you in your decision.
However, there will be days when you may feel so poorly that you begin to question your decisions. I have found that, even in those times, when my situation took a turn for the worst, it was having supportive people in my life that helped me to regain my focus on my goals. While there were some who questioned my beliefs in holistic healing and not using chemotherapy or radiation, I found it important that the people who were in my immediate believed in and supported how I wanted to heal.
There is actually precedence in doing this as shown by Jesus, wherein Luke 8:40-42, 49-45, a man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue, came to Jesus because his young daughter was dying. Then, someone came from Jairus’ home to let him know that his daughter was dead. When Jesus arrived at Jairus’ house, He instructed them to not let anyone go in with him except for Peter, John, James, the Disciples, along with Jairus and his wife. This is when Jesus was able to bring her back from the dead.
This is interesting because, in closing out most people from being in the house with Him, He essentially prevented the masses–those who didn’t believe in His ability to miraculously bring this young girl back to life—from exerting any energetic influence. I believe that this is an important lesson here for us. We need to be mindful of who we surround ourselves with, especially if we are in the midst of great struggle in our lives.
When I felt fearful or struggled from tremendous physical pain, I reached out to people to pray for me. These prayers were incredibly powerful in providing me with the strength and courage to continue on.
Having positive support from those closest to you is critically important to being able to recover or survive. What are four ways to ensure that you have a support system that uplifting and effective?
- Surround yourself with those who love and support you. Whether you’re in a hospital, home, or hospice. You want to be in a place where you only feel love and support, so if there is anyone present who is causing you to feel less open, it would be important to resolve the differences so that you can be in a place of peace, and not protection, where you feel the need to somehow protect yourself, whether this be protection from being questioned, judged, or criticized.
- Ask for help in specific ways. Allow those who believe and support you to help, not only as they feel led, but also by being specific in what you may need. While you may feel that you’re troubling someone by asking them to do something for you, most would rather be told of specific needs instead of having to guess and wasting time and effort doing something that is not really desired or needed.
- Have fully open and honest communications. There should be no secrets in your life, especially between you and those closest supporting you because keeping issues hidden negatively impacts your immune system, as well as emotional and spiritual wellness. I’ve worked with clients who were unable to speak to their spouses about the finances, or other topics deemed too challenging to broach. These impasses in communication could potentially create the emotional and energetic blocks that could be at the source of your illness or condition. By clearing up this space, you allow healing to flow energetically around and through you.
- Ensure that your support system creates an environment that permits for rest. This means having a quiet environment that supports you and your body’s ability to heal and recover. Not only is it important that you have the quietness needed to sleep essentially when the sun goes down, but it’s important that you’re able to rest uninterrupted throughout the night, which will help support your body’s immune system.
The journey towards wholeness requires being at peace with yourself and those around you. By having a loving and caring support system, comprised of people who genuinely love, believe in, and support you and the decisions that you have made regarding your care, you are creating a healthy, positive environment that will help you to ultimately improve the quality of your life.
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