Now that we’re a few weeks into Spring, it’s time to do a bit of spring cleaning. When most of us think about spring cleaning, we think about all of the chores that we must take on in order to get our homes free of clutter, and to bring a sense of renewal to our living space. We perform a deep, thorough cleaning in all areas, cracks, corners, and crevices of our home. We may paint over the old walls to add vibrancy to our inner dwellings, add some freshly cut flowers, and pull on our gardening gloves to add some brilliant color to our yards. So much of this yearly ritual focuses on aesthetics, but what about the interior rooms that others cannot see?
Another way to think about spring cleaning is sprucing up your inner self. What negative ideas or beliefs are you holding on to that could potentially hold you back from what you want to achieve? Are there negative people in your life that don’t seem to be very supportive or are continually draining the life out of you like an emotional vampire? There’s not much point sprucing up everything else around you if you don’t apply the same for yourself.
We all know that one person in our life that does not ever seems to have one positive thing to say about anything or anyone. Heads up, if you can’t think of a single person who has been this way in your life at any point in time, the chances are that you “may” be that person to someone else. When a friend is engaged, the naysayer is predicting how long the marriage will last. When a friend has a child, the naysayer is predicting how much of a terror that child will be, based on their own negative perception of the child’s parents.
I have a friend who once shared with me her experience when she appeared on the cover of a magazine, a feat that most people will never have the opportunity to accomplish. The cover turned out beautifully.
However, when she showed the magazine to an associate, her cover was picked apart with statements such as, “How could you let them photoshop you like that?” “This looks nothing like you.” “Next time, don’t let them do that to you.” My friend was absolutely perplexed with these comments. She felt great about the work that she had done, and the outcome of the image, so she felt a temporary moment of discomfort about her associate’s statements. However, she realized that this negative attitude was coming from this person’s own belief and value system, so she decided not to allow those statements to deflate her bubble of happiness.
She realized how much negativity was being directed at her, not from a place of truth, but instead, from jealousy. Therefore, she did not allow these negative words to take away from her accomplishment.
In situations like these, it is important to be emotionally mature and aware enough to recognize negativity for what it is, so that you don’t end up internalizing these negative statements. Whenever you allow someone else’s words to bring down your mood, or affect your self-worth, you give away your power.
Are you allowing naysayers into your close circle of friends? Or perhaps you’re the naysayer to others’ dreams and accomplishments.
To create a more positive mindset:
1. Take time to do some self-reflection and meditation.
2. Evaluate where those feelings are coming from. Sometimes, you may have to trace these feelings back to your childhood. Did you grow up surrounded by negativity? Or perhaps you notice that you tend to be your own worst critic. Once you understand the root cause of the negativity, you are on your way towards replacing these negative feelings with more positive.
3. Make it a point to find something nice to say to everyone that you encounter. For example, you can encourage someone when you’re standing in line at the checkout counter.
4. Learn to compliment yourself. Tell yourself that you are enough, that you are worthy and that you have inherent value.
While these steps may seem simple, the more you learn to accept yourself and others, the more you are training your mind to be more positive.
How do you deal with naysayers in your group of friends?
1) Let the naysayers know in a respectful manner that you do not agree with them and prefer not to think in such a negative manner. To quote the movie, “The Point of No Return,” the main character learned a line when she was confronted with an issue that seemed overwhelming, “I never did mind about the little things.” Although this particular statement will not work in every situation, I thought it was great how the character in the movie had this statement in her arsenal in the event that she was faced with a confrontation and still wanted to maintain her cool.
2) Remove yourself from the situation. Walking away is one of the easiest, and most non-confrontational ways to let the naysayer know that you do not condone their negative attitude.
3) Let go of your relationship to these naysayers. If you’re encountering the negativity on social media, for example, it’s easy to hit the block option when someone you barely know is harassing you. However, this is not always the easiest thing to do in real life. While there isn’t necessarily a block option that will keep you from seeing them, if you’ve gotten to the point that the naysayer is not going to change and is constantly draining your energy, it may be time to let them go. Don’t answer their phone calls or text messages. Remember, it’s up to you to decide whether or not you want negative people engaged in your life.
These are just some simple steps that can help you to spruce up your inner self this spring. If you need any assistance in finding ways to clean up some toxic negativity in your life, please feel free to reach out to me. This spring, set your intention to identify some of the negative areas that you’re clinging onto and sweep them out of your life for good. By cleaning up your thoughts and feelings, you can lead a much healthier and happier life.
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